


Who am I

by Lovestory81



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: An Eligius Match, Bellarke, Brainwashed Bellamy, Clarke will do anything to get him back, F/M, Future leader, Good genes, The 100 (TV) Season 7 Speculation, Wake up The Heart, Welcome to Bardo, a different reunion, season 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:38:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24570160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovestory81/pseuds/Lovestory81
Summary: Clarke is in Bardo and reunites with her soulmate, in this white room with bright lights. Though he is still Bellamy Blake, he's not the same and looks different. All of his memories are gone and it's a shock to find out that he doesn't even know her anymore.The people there allow them to see each other in private...Clarke's in shock and very emotional, but of course determined to not leave this place without her man! But can she still trust him? What did those people do to him and who is he now?
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 50





	Who am I

“I'm supposed to know you”

An empty look when he walked in, these familiar brown eyes tried to read her...then he stopped. An ice cold silence followed.

Nailed to the floor, a few meters away from him, in the middle of the room there was Clarke, immediately gutted by the harsh truth, as her deepest fear came true. Her hands trembling, slowly covering her face.

“Are you ok?” he asked, prepared but surprised by her highly emotional response right away.

_No I'm not! Of course I'm not!_ Clarke's eyes filled up with tears, but she fought them and lowered her hands that formed into fists. No, she didn't want to cry and slightly nodded at him, swallowing away the tears. Inside she was screaming; the tendency of wanting to grab him and shake him, so he would wake up, was huge.

It was like someone stabbed her in the heart, this huge loss broke her heart, he was right there, but gone! It was even harder to realize she instantly missed the way he used to look at her. As if this was the first time she understood that there was so much more between them then a friendship.

The way he looked at her just a few days ago, the way they hugged when she'd returned from space, how they reunited like true lovers. That longing look of him, when she cried her heart out about what happened to mom. His comforting words then and when he saved her life, they were still echoing through her mind...

But right now it was like her head was spinning, Clarke was always good at anticipating, at any moment, therefore he called her _the head_.  
A lot happened in this silence, to both of them, but on a different frequency. The fog in his head caused a mental daze. But there was something about this woman, that made his brain want to start up again, after everything he went through. There were still memories, but only of his time here. But this woman, she made him alert as fuck.

“There must be something special between us.” he guessed.

Another, nervous nod, to confirm.

“Have you lost your tongue?” Bellamy Blake, always trying to enlighten the situation when things got tough. Even now?

It made her feel something again. “No, I- I just need some time to adjust.”

“I could come back later?” he glanced at the floor with a shy smile, still obviously the same man!

“No. Please don't leave me.” _Again_ , she wanted to add 'again', but he wouldn't understand right now.

“You're scared...but I won't hurt you...trust me.” he paused and squinted “Help me out, what was our connection?” his hand moved to his face, with his index and thumb he rubbed his chin, where once his beard was.

Sick, it made her sick to her stomach to get this kinda confirmation.

“We- we uhm...” new tears welled up in her eyes “...we were friends.”

A frown appeared on his face as he tilted his head a little “And...a little more than that?”

It was a relieve to see how much he was still himself and not the robot she'd expected him to be, she just stared at him.

“They said we knew each other very well and that I should take my time with you. I'm sorry I don't remember anything, they made a mistake when they brought me here.”

_And you're ok with that?!_ Clarke didn't know what to say and just continued her observation. She could sense how they had been lying to him, how they brainwashed him, so they could use him for God knows what.

This beautiful young woman standing across from him, deep blue ocean eyes staring at him, she seemed so upset. Mixed emotions, mostly fear, but he also picked up her intense sadness and it frustrated him because he knew nothing. It made him insecure and more reserved.

Their reunion took place in this huge sterile lab room with lots of tech, big bright lights and black lights coloring the room white and light blue, it hurt her eyes and the chemical smell was indescribable. This wasn't the kinda place you wanted to be, it looked like a huge operating room. Shivers ran down her back when she tried to figure out where they used it for and what the hell they had done to her Bellamy...

On one side of the room there was this bed, a white chair and a computer on a small mobile table next to it.

While observing him she noticed that he was hesitating to walk over there, but why? Bellamy knew exactly what he had to do, but she brought up something inside of him that made him doubt, his eyes shot back at her.  
Those beautiful, almost innocent, blue eyes saw right through him. The way they had been brainwashing him took away his natural curiosity that he would usually have in the presence of a woman like her...  
  
The longer she searched his face the more it hurt inside, she felt like throwing up because there was no recognition at all.

Whatever they had, it was gone, their connection was gone, his eyes were 'empty'. All her radars were on, ready to strike, to fire all of her questions at him, the moment she would see the slightest change. This growing intense desire inside of her, wanting to turn this around, the need to have him back, became an obsession. _I'm not leaving this place without my man._

“You look good” she suddenly said with a soft tone in her voice, sweet and sad at the same time. She looked away, when he tried to make eye-contact, in an attempt to play with him, maybe she could wake his heart, make him curious...

“Well thank you” he smiled and kept looking at her, thinking...  
  
He looked good indeed. Sexy, younger even. Bellamy Blake in a white suit, his well muscled body came out so perfectly. His face clean shaven, hair shorter, the black curls back on his forehead like many years ago. Soft black hair, where she wanted to run her fingers through, while kissing him softly on his sweet lips.

New tears welled up because of this deep lingering regret inside, that she'd never told him how she felt. This reunion would be so different if he hadn't been kidnapped.

If only this was a fairy tale, if only it was this simple; the princess kissing the King to bring him back, a great romantic story to tell their future children maybe. _And they would live happily ever after._ Her heart was aching for him, she wanted to end this nightmare and take him home right now!

There was also this darkness inside of her that she tried to fight: _Should I give up here?_ _What if Jasper was right?_ Tempting but no, she was more driven to get him back...Someone special once told her to not give up as long as they were both still breathing. G _et up and fight!_

He stared at her, awaiting...his deep brown eyes -that used to calm her- met hers, without either of them looking away this time.

Bellamy didn't miss how she was observing him “Look we can talk, but please, stop staring at me like that.”

Awkward...they were used to this, staring at each other, longing looks were normal.

He continued “I get it though. This must be hard for you, but I can assure you, I'm still _me_ ”

That made her look away, she sighed “You're here, but you're not”

“Hey, I'm really here” he walked up to her and stretched out his arm in front of her “Go on, touch me” now he was observing her and it was hard to watch how tensed she got when he came closer.

With hesitation she did touch him, her soft small hand carefully reached out for his arm. She was used to the warmth coming off his body, especially his hands and arms were always warm, which was so comforting during their hugs...But even that was gone, his skin was cold, dry and clean, to clean...his body didn't radiate warmth anymore, but fear and distance. His familiar, manly scent was also gone, instead there was this chemical smell surrounding him.

He noticed her eye movement changed and how her forced sweet face now grimaced.

“You're so different” she quickly pulled back her hand, her eyes filled up with tears again and when she blinked a few tears escaped her eyes. It was to hard to fight them, her reaction caused a small change inside of him...

This might be a chance to follow through “What happened to you _Bellamy_? You know you can tell me anything, or did you forget that too?” she held his stare, but he looked away and walked backwards to create distance again.

Hearing her say his name was so lovely, the way she pronounced it did something to him.


End file.
